Giving into Sweet Desperation
by Hotaru Gunso
Summary: Kyoya has achieved his ultimate goal of inheriting the Ootori Zaibatsu and gaining his father's approval, but his accomplishments feel empty as his greatest mistake continues to haunt him. However, as he and Haruhi fall deeper in love and reflect on their past, he can no longer decide what the mistake was: having a child when they were too young or giving her up.
1. The World is Broken

A/N: Hey everyone! For any of you who read Alter the Ending, I honestly haven't been feeling very thrilled with my work on it at the moment and don't have as much time as I thought to devote to a longer, multi-chapter fic like it. In fact, this fic here will actually contain some ideas I had for Alter the Ending that I'm honestly not sure I'll ever get to writing, which I apologize for. However, I really don't think I can finish it as strongly as I hoped, so instead of devoting all my time and effort to it, I figured this shorter fic which otherwise encompasses some of the same ideas will help make things move more quickly since I don't intend on this being longer than a three-shot, though the middle chapter will overwhelmingly be the longest based on what I have planned. I also have the entire fic planned out, so it should move along more smoothly (I hope).

Anyway, for those of you who don't know me, I'm a HUGE KyoHaru fan and this idea has been bothering me for the longest time and I just finally decided to sit down and write it! As I'm sure you all know, all hits and reviews are appreciated and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Kyoya was accustomed to hearing his father give long-winded speeches leading up to some grandiose announcement on behalf of the Ootori Zaibatsu. These overly elaborate speeches usually did not hold Kyoya's interest for very long, as he was usually privy to the information his father was so shamelessly proud to announce to their guests whenever they held soirees or get-togethers of any kind.

Though he was certainly an expert at maintaining a guise of professionalism, especially in the midst of Yoshio's most valued associates, on the inside, he wanted to scold his father to get to the point and allow the dreadful night to continue, as he wasn't a fan of these soirees themselves and continually keeping up appearances on his father's behalf. After all, the Ootori Zaibatsu's success wasn't exactly a secret to anyone.

However, on this particular night, Kyoya's impatience resulted from an entirely different reason than anything remotely resembling boredom. He felt a large lump in his throat as he willed himself to not collapse on sight due to his ever-building anxiety. Filing into a straight line on his left, he saw Yuuichi and Akito standing next to him exhibiting the same amount of stoicism and professionalism as himself, though he was sure they were feeling the same anxiety as he was.

It wasn't every day that one of them was announced as the heir to the Ootori Zaibatsu.

The twenty-four-year-old had anticipated this moment his entire life, but as he stood mere feet away from his father, gazing at him with fearful eyes that he could hide behind his glasses, he could feel his breathing become more laborious with each breath he took.

 _'Come on, get to the point already,'_ he thought agitatedly to himself as he gritted his teeth. _'He is clearly doing this on purpose to further test our patience, even though we've reached the end of the line at this point.'_

Despite the vastness of the crowd before him, everyone aside from his father and brothers were invisible to him, even his sister, who gazed at him with the same anxiety, silently hoping that her baby brother's hard work would finally pay off.

But for a split second, he turned his attention away from his father and locked eyes with Fuyumi. Upon making eye contact, his sister merely gave him an assuring nod, which slightly put him at ease, as he always had the comfort of knowing his sister believed in him.

However, in that same moment, the mere sight of Fuyumi, whom he hadn't seen in two years as a result of her and her family's move to America, also sparked something in his memory bank.

 _'Wait a minute. Isn't today…no, it can't be. How on Earth would I ever forget that today is May 1st?'_

As he pondered over what he so desperately wanted to remember, Fuyumi saw that his eyes went from looking nervous to borderline frantic, though he clearly tried to keep his composure as much as he could. Frowning slightly, she had hoped that he wouldn't remember the significance of a certain nearby date, as today was (hopefully) going to be his day to shine. The last thing he needed was to worry about if he remembered one simple birthday.

 _'Goddammit!'_ he cursed himself in his head, the importance of the present moment completely slipping away. _'How did I forget?! I got so wrapped up in tonight that I didn't even remember to buy her a present! I can't believe how selfish I-'_

"…So it is with great pride that I officially declare my third son, Kyoya Ootori, as the successor of the Ootori Zaibatsu! I'm sure we will see great things from him in the coming years as I take him under my wing."

At the mention of his name, Kyoya found himself snapping out of his thoughts as his head whipped into the direction of his father. He felt his mouth drop open and his entire body go numb. He barely even noticed his glasses nearly fall off as he kept rapidly tilting his head in all directions, from his father to the sea of guests loudly applauding him to his brothers giving him respectful, yet unquestionably irritated and envious, smiles of approval as they each approached him to give him congratulatory hugs.

The shock still failed to subside as his father similarly approached him, embracing his startled son, who very slowly returned the gesture while trying to digest exactly what just happened. Yoshio quietly chuckled at the incredulous look on his son's face as he released him.

"Congratulations, my boy," he whispered to him as he carefully leaned in closely enough so that he could go unheard by everyone else. "All of your hard work and sacrifices led you to this moment. Embrace it and do not allow anyone to take this away from you. Your past actions are behind you and now you can look towards the future. The next step is to make sure you mingle with the right people and not allow any distractions."

At his father's words, Kyoya felt himself internally cringe as Yoshio walked away and began addressing the swarm of people in front of him, inviting them to enjoy the rest of the night.

 _'Sacrifices…past actions…'_ Kyoya thought as he continued to struggle to wrap his mind around the situation at hand, fixing his glasses.

He knew that this was what he was waiting for his entire life, but he couldn't help but feel somewhat off and unable to enjoy to the fullest extent, trying to brush off his earlier worries about the current day's particular date and the importance of it.

Soon enough, he found himself swarmed to death by people looking to congratulate him, undoubtedly his father's less favored associates trying to get in good with their esteemed colleague's newly-named successor. In the midst of all of the handshakes and formalities, Kyoya found the strength to snap out of his daze enough to flash his winning smile enough to cordially greet everyone.

Straightening himself out internally, he brushed his earlier worries aside to do as his father advised him and began mingling. He was more than used to winning over others and keeping a wide circle of associates on good terms, though now he realized there was an even greater pressure to do so, as he was no longer simply dealing with his well-connected schoolmates anymore.

As the night progressed, Kyoya exhaled heavily out of relief as he realized the number of people occupying his family's estate was beginning to dwindle. He patted down his forehead with a handkerchief as he took a moment for himself to refill his wine glass. Lord knew he needed as much as he could get his hands on before the night ended.

"Though maybe not too much more. Wouldn't exactly be becoming of the heir to the Ootori Zaibatsu to be milling about drunk. Only God knows the trouble that's landed me into in the past…" he muttered to himself as a server refilled his glass.

"Now what sort of trouble would that be, young man? I hope nothing quite too serious!"

At the sound of woman's voice, Kyoya found his body quickly whipping around to see the source of it being a somewhat older woman with wavy, graying black hair flowing down to her collarbone and dressed in an elegant but modest cream gown. However, unlike the others he had made small talk with so far, her eyes seemed to have genuine warmth to them.

Despite his exhaustion, Kyoya did his best to return the gesture as he went through his memory bank in an attempt to recall her name and connection.

"Shizuku Yamamoto, if I recall. Your husband is head of an important armament manufacturer if I'm correct. And I can assure you that I certainly am not currently in any serious trouble, ma'am, nor has alcohol caused me to fall into any in recent years," he greeted her cordially, giving her a soft smile, though he resisted the urge to wince at his awkward half-truth, based on one's definition of 'recent'.

"Oh, I'm sure you've been doing fine, young man," she chuckled softly. "And what a memory you have! You're absolutely correct! I can see now why you were chosen as your father's heir now."

"You're far too kind, ma'am. But enough about myself right now. Might I ask how you and your husband are fairing as well as your company?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, he's so close to retirement and relinquishing control to our son that the company is the least of our worries. As a matter of fact, we're both much more excited about our new granddaughter! Our daughter just had her about two months ago."

As the woman fished her wallet out of her purse to find a picture of the young girl to show him, Kyoya look desperately for any hint of irony in her voice, but he couldn't detect a single trace. She seemed to be entirely sincere. How rare it was for him to come across people so unconcerned with their material success, though he gave her props for having her priorities in order, something he wished he could say more often for himself.

"Well, I must offer my congratulations then. She looks absolutely beautiful," he said himself sincerely as she showed him a picture of the young girl. "Might I ask what the child's name is?"

"Oh, not at all!" Shizuku said excitedly as she began gazing proudly at the picture herself. "My daughter and son-in-law had some difficulty in deciding upon a name they felt was absolutely perfect, but after much consideration, they eventually decided on Tsubaki!"

Kyoya felt his smile fade, his eyes widen, and his entire body tense up all over again in the blink of an eye.

Out of the corner of her eye, Fuyumi, who was mingling around herself, caught a glimpse of her little brother as her ear caught that last bit of Shizuku's sentence.

"Oh, no…" she wimpered quietly as she saw the contained yet exasperated look on Kyoya's face. This wasn't good.

"Isn't that such a lovely name? As corny as it might sound, my daughter was determined to find a name that captured the beauty of her child as best she could," Shizuku continued to beam, failing to notice the dumbfounded expression on her listener's face.

"Y-yes, Shizuku-sama. I w-wholeheartedly agree," he stuttered, finding himself sweating all over again and his throat beginning to close up. "I absolutely love Tsubaki- the name, of course. That's obviously what I meant."

Eventually catching on, Shizuku's own smile faltered as she gave Kyoya a quizzical look as he was becoming more and more flustered. Was it something she said?

"It's a very wonderful name, Shizuku-sama," he continued, patting his forehead again and trying to save himself from any further embarrassment. However, he was soon finding himself in one of the rare instances in with the former "cool type" was most certainly losing his cool. "After all, that's the name of my own d- niece! My niece, I mean. She's also very beautiful and is…turning five soon."

"Shizuku-sama, please don't mind me, but I think my brother is simply becoming warn out from all this excitement. Please excuse us and have a wonderful night!"

Kyoya could have not asked for a better time for Fuyumi to intervene in his life. Not paying any heed to Shizuku, who stared at them confusedly as Fuyumi dragged him away, he eagerly followed his sister as she grabbed his wrist and led him into the nearest bathroom in the estate.

Closing the door behind her, Fuyumi faced her younger brother, feeling her heart break as she watched him switfly remove his tie and jacket, unbutton the top button of his shirt, and remove his glasses in order to wipe his oncoming tears as he caught his breath. Though they were infrequent, every episode of anxiety she watched him go through over the last five years seem to take a toll on his emotional well-being.

"Kyoya, we're alone now. Are you okay?" she said worriedly as she walked over to her brother and enveloped him in a big hug.

Uncharacteristically for him, he not only returned it swiftly, but also clung to her tightly as he buried his face into her shoulder, continuing to struggle to breathe and slightly wetting her shoulder with his tears. This was far from the Kyoya she was familiar with, but despite her prolonged absence from his life, even she knew how greatly he had changed over the last six years since he finished high school and how, in stark contrast to how he used to be, was more open to showing his emotions, at least in front of her.

"Kyoya, I promise you, it's going to be okay. I didn't realize that just hearing her name was still a trigger for you. But please don't worry. Try not to focus on her. Tonight is _your_ night and I don't want anything or anyone to take that away from you," she said soothingly as she comfortingly rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry, Nee-san," he choked out, slightly lifting his head off of her shoulder so that he could speak more clearly, or at least as clearly as he could. "I'm acting disgracefully as the heir of the Ootori Zaibatsu. I should feel so much more pride and gratitude for what father has just given me. I don't deserve it after all the mistakes I've made, but he still awarded it to _me_ , the family screw-up, the one who can't even savor this moment of finally achieving his lifelong goal."

"Kyoya, please don't talk like that," she said solemnly. "This is such a momentous occasion for you that you earned one hundred percent that you shouldn't sell yourself short on. We all make mistakes and you handled yours as best you could. You also have no control over how you feel. However, please know that even to this day, you _still_ did the right thing and now it's gotten you to exactly where you always wanted to be!"

Catching his breath, Kyoya slowly released his sister, staring her dead in the eye as they faced each other. Still without his glasses, Fuyumi could clearly see the rare, but familiar sadness in his eyes that clouded them whenever he was reminded of _her_. Though he has expressed such despair in the past, she only now realized the severity of it now that, even in the crux of his most outstanding achievement, he still couldn't help but cling to the his past and dwell on what he can never get back.

"Fuyumi, I don't mean to change the subject, but today isn't May 1st, is it?" he asked, attempting to regain even an ounce of composure, but she could easily sense the desperation in his voice. "I completely forgot about Tsubaki's birthday and buying her a present."

"No, Kyoya, it's April 29th, two days away," she responded quietly, watching him let out a sigh of relief as he carefully wiped his brow. "But Kyoya, you have no reason to feel pressured to remember it. She isn't your or Haruhi's responsibility; she's mine and my husband's. I want you to take care of yourself and stop worrying so much about her. I can assure you that she's fine."

At her words, Kyoya narrowed his eyes exasperatedly at her as he gritted his teeth.

"Fuyumi, there might be a legal document filed away in our family's attorney's cabinets that declares that Tsubaki Shido is your daughter and my niece in the eyes of the law, but…"

As Kyoya tried to finish his sentence, new tears began forming in his eyes, his heart breaking for what felt like the millionth time in the last several years.

"…But she will _always_ be _my daughter_ as well and I'll be _damned_ if I forget my own child's birthday, even if I haven't seen her since she was _three_ because you and your husband decided to move to entirely different continent."

At the sound of his words, Fuyumi felt her own tears cascade down her face as she watched her brother, stubborn as ever, attempt to keep his composure to the best of his ability as he wiped his face of his tears yet again.

"…Kyoya," she began quietly, trying not to choke up herself and feeling that arguing with him over such minor technicalities would be useless and just lead to more tears. "If you need to bid goodnight and rest after everything that's happened today, I can cover for you. I know Father will be understanding."

In response, Kyoya gave her a sad smile, his eyes softening. He sighed as he picked up his glasses and discarded garments and began heading to the door. Stopping in front of it, he turned around and, to her surprise, hugged his sister once more.

"Thank you so much. I love you, Nee-san."

"I love you too, Kyoya. And I know you love Tsubaki."

Losing his last ounce of composure, Kyoya stifled a quiet sob at her words before he released Fuyumi and quickly departed from the bathroom, leaving her behind to wipe away her own tears.


	2. In Too Many Pieces

A/N: Hey everyone! Thank you so much to all my readers and everyone who has favorited and added this to their alerts! Though I was initially considering keeping this condensed to only a few chapters and have the events play out in vignettes, I realized I didn't want to just cram everything into just three chapters, so as of now, I'm planning to extend it into at least five. Thank you all again and hope you enjoy!

* * *

Once Kyoya entered his bedroom, ensuring that the door locked tightly behind him, he grabbed a tissue from the nearest box and wiped his face clean of any remaining tears. These days, he always made sure to have an ample amount in his room. After tossing his discarded jacket and tie onto his sofa, he sauntered over to his bed, which he promptly face-planted onto in exhaustion.

Rolling over onto his back, he gazed aimlessly at the ceiling, attempting to calm down after the cringe worthy incident that just occurred, even if Fuyumi was the only one to actually witness it. His younger self would have felt absolutely mortified at the mere thought of displaying such behavior and nearly losing it in front of the wife of one of his father's most valued associates. But now, he couldn't care less. Though he was still skilled at keeping his composure in most situations, any minor thing that remotely reminded him of that little girl had a high chance of setting him off, something his family eventually became accustomed to, despite their impatience with it.

However, as much as he detested this emotional instability he developed over the years, he came to accept himself for how he was. The events of the past affected him and he couldn't go back in time to change them. This was who he was now.

Tearing off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose, Kyoya reflected on just how far this has escalated over the last few years and the futile attempts his father made to "cure him" of the desolation he felt over losing his daughter, something Kyoya knew would never completely go away. It only worsened when Tsubaki, Fuyumi, and Shido-kun moved to the U.S. Despite the love Kyoya had for his sister, he felt a great deal of animosity towards her and his brother-in-law for doing this.

 _'Paternal postpartum depression…that's what those morons first assumed it was. Then when my anxiety and depressive symptoms persisted beyond the first year, they said it was chronic adjustment disorder. Then when Father was_ still _dissatisfied with my occasional 'outbursts,' which worsened around the time they moved, he turned to that one quack that went as far as calling it PTSD,'_ he thought to himself, scoffing at the absurd labels numerous doctors tried assigning his alleged condition.

 _'If I'm supposedly so messed up, then how was I able to surpass my brothers, exceed the expectations set for me enough to become my father's heir when no one expected me to, even before everything went downhill? Why can't he just accept that this isn't something I can just get over and that will follow me for the rest of my life? Why doesn't he realize that this is part of who I am now?'_

Sighing, he snapped out of his daze and sat up to fish his phone out of his pocket after feeling it vibrate. He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, but his curiosity got the better of him. Despite his current inner turmoil, he found the strength to give a small smile as a certain name lit up on his phone, especially after he opened the incoming message and read it:

 _Your father's announcement is already circulating all the news sources. I always knew you could do it! I wish I could've been there, but my shift at work went later than I would've liked. I'm sure you're busy mingling with the high and mighty, so no pressure to respond quickly. I'm excited to see you tomorrow and talk all about it!_

 _I love you,_

 _Haruhi_

Reading his girlfriend's messages never failed to brighten his day. If there was one person in his life who had unwavering faith in everything he did _and_ perfectly understood the persistent melancholy he suffered from, it was Haruhi. He knew none of this was any easier for her, no matter how much of a tough front she tried to portray as well.

 _'What right do I even have to be upset about any of this when she was the one who had to suffer the brunt of our mistake, even more than I did?'_ he thought solemnly as his smile faded and the memories of how everything unraveled began flooding his mind, memories he would have preferred to eliminate from his memory bank but that he knew would stick with him forever.

* * *

 _Kyoya barely noticed the coffee mug fall out of his hand and shatter on his kitchen floor as Haruhi's words registered in his brain._

 _"Haruhi…" he gasped dryly as he could feel the oxygen escape his lungs rapidly, his hand shaking so hard that he struggled to keep his phone perched by his ear. "Please, for the love of God, tell me this is nothing more than an elaborate prank the twins put you up to pulling on me in their own twisted way of 'celebrating' the beginning of my first semester of university."_

 _He desperately hoped that was the truth and that it was merely a coincidence that their latest prank coincided perfectly with the fact that it had now been a few weeks since he and Haruhi slept together. That just_ had _to be it. After all, after they realized the drunken mistake they made at the twins' end-of-the-summer get-together the next morning, he made sure she purchased and consumed a morning after pill as soon as possible, which she didn't hesitate to do. They might have messed up, but they were smart, responsible people who did everything they could to amend their awkward situation, worsened by the fact that she and Tamaki had only recently ended their relationship prior to their hook-up._

 _However, Kyoya also considered the price of international calls and that Haruhi wasn't the type to frivolously spend money in the name of an immature practical joke, not to mention that the subject matter at hand was_ nothing _to joke about._

 _"…Senpai…I'm so sorry…" she choked out after a moment of awkward silence. "But after I took a home test, I told my dad and he took me to a clinic to make sure and…I hate that I have to tell you this over the phone, but yes, senpai, I'm…pregnant."_

 _At the second mention of that dreaded word, Kyoya could here his friend stifle an oncoming sob over the line, which was enough motivation for him to restrain himself from screaming, though he did so internally in response to her confirmation. However, there was nothing that could help quell his on-coming headache._

 _Collapsing limply onto his living room couch, he exhaled sharply as he tore off his glasses with his free hand and used it to rub his temple. In the ensuing moments that followed, during which Haruhi wordlessly stifled her cries, Kyoya tried to process this new information as rapidly as he could and what it ultimately meant for both himself and Haruhi and their futures. This would undoubtedly change everything._

'There's no use in pondering over _how_ this happened or why, but for God's sake, _pregnant?_ We're not even dating and she and Tamaki only broke up six weeks ago! He and the others will have my head once they find out if they haven't already, though their opinions should be the least of my worries. Unless she takes care of this immediately before anyone else has to find out, my father will most likely kill me and all of my efforts towards working to become his successor will dissipate in an instant. But regardless of what ends up happening, I can't deny the shame I've now brought upon the Ootori name.

'I'm getting ahead of myself though. I can't assume any of this yet, at least not without figuring out what Haruhi even _wants_ to do in this situation. Despite the way I'd prefer to handle this, I know I can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. After all, she's the one who's really suffering from all of this. Maybe this is some kind of sick punishment for trying to scare her at the beach house all that time ago. What I threatened to make happened now actually _has_ happened.'

 _Kyoya would have scoffed at that thought had this influx of information not made him want to throw up. Here he was supposed to be reveling in beginning university and continuing his education in the U.S. after having spent his last year of high school here only to unceremoniously have his excitement killed by the news of an unplanned baby looming over his head. And at the mere age of_ eighteen _no less._

 _"Haruhi, I'm sorry," he said, trying to find the right words to say in this situation. "I hate that you have to deal with this and that I can't help you directly for the time being. However, now that you've confirmed that you're indeed…pregnant…" The term itself came out raspier than Kyoya intended. "The first step we need to take is to decide how we're going to proceed, which is ultimately up to you to decide. I have my own opinion of how to deal with this, but I would never force you to do anything you were uncomfortable with."_

 _Kyoya's words brought Haruhi's cries to a sudden stop. He didn't know what part of what he said clicked in her mind, but he dreaded the prospect of saying anything to further upset her._

 _"To be honest, Kyoya-senpai…" she began hesitantly, her voice trembling. "Out of all of our options, I…I really don't feel comfortable with the idea of getting an abortion. While it would make things easier, I don't feel comfortable going through with it unless I was completely sure it was what I wanted, but it's not. I know that sounds like a flimsy excuse, but it's how I feel. I'm so sorry for putting you in this position, senpai, but I could never go through with it. I know it'll be hard, but…I know we can make it through the coming months, whether or not we actually keep the baby, and I don't want you to have to worry since you're all the way in the States. Worst comes to worst, my dad can help me through this and I'm sure the others will help as well. I'd rather you focus on school right now and not on something that shouldn't be your problem."_

 _Kyoya gritted his teeth hard, suppressing an exasperated groan. He would have preferred to take care of this as easily as possible, but he knew he couldn't empathize with how Haruhi felt. She would have to deal with the burden of carrying the child to term in the coming months, but it was her choice; he was in no position to persuade her to do any differently and she sounded determined to follow through with it. She was his friend and he cared for and respected her enough to trust her judgment._

 _However, that still left him in an indeterminate state._

 _"I see, Haruhi. If that's what you want to do, then I respect your decision and I promise that I'll do everything in my ability to help you through this. Even though I'm all the way out here, I can ensure that you will receive the absolute best medical care in the coming months. If you don't feel comfortable attending Ouran in your condition, I can also contact private tutors for the remainder of your third year. Additionally…while I can no longer drop my current classes…I…I'll transfer my credits to Ouran University for the next term and move back home."_

 _Kyoya surprised himself with the amount of composure he exuded as he spoke. Though he knew the honorable thing was to aid her in any way, he didn't expect to shower her with so much charity so easily, particularly with giving up his aspiration to study in the U.S._

 _"Kyoya-senpai, that's far too generous of you!" Haruhi exclaimed, sounding more and more flustered. "I appreciate your help, but I can't ask that much of you! It's not your responsibility to take care of me so lavishly or to give up on your goals when_ I'm _the one who's decided to carry the baby to term. You shouldn't feel so obligated to-"_

 _"But I_ am _obligated, Haruhi." he said bluntly, taking her off guard. "My studying here is simply a luxury, not a requirement for me to achieve my goals. Giving it up is nothing more than a minor inconvenience, but nothing that I can't get over. Also, Haruhi, remember that this is my child as well. I refuse to spare any expense in making sure that the remaining months of your pregnancy go without a hitch. It's not as if I can't afford these things after all. The only obstacle we have now is informing my father of all this."_

 _Kyoya nervously bit his lip as he awaited her response, his cool mask beginning to slip as the reality of the current situation began dawning even harder on him as they continued to talk about it. Supplying her with the necessary resources was simple; giving her the emotional support and care she needed, on the other hand, was a challenge for him, no matter how close he had grown towards her and the host club. However, he knew that's what she needed the most right now._

 _Surprisingly, in a rare moment of sympathy, he could feel his heart break ever so slightly as her choked-up voice tried to form coherent sentences._

 _"…Thank you so much, Kyoya-senpai," she feebly whimpered. "I know I don't say this enough, but I'm so grateful that you're my friend and I always knew you were a caring person, despite what others might think of you. I guess it really is the greatest adversities that bring out the best in people."_

 _At her words, Kyoya felt his heart break further as tears started forming in his eyes._

 _"Thank you as well, Haruhi," he muttered sheepishly, having difficulty accepting her compliment. "Once again, I'm sorry I can't be there any earlier than December, but please call me whenever you need anything and I'll get in touch with you once I sort out everything with my father."_

 _"That sounds good, senpai. I know I've already said it, but thank you again so much," Kyoya was surprised to hear a small hint of hopefulness in her tone, though she still sounded solemn. "It's very late over here, so I need to go to bed soon, but I'll talk to you later, Kyoya-senpai."_

 _"Goodbye, Haruhi."_

 _As he hung up his phone, Kyoya sat motionlessly on his couch as his mind tried to fully wrap itself around what just happened. However, in one of the few times in his life, he felt his mind go completely blank as the full gravity of his and Haruhi's situation crashed down on him like a million bricks._

 _His lifeless eyes wandered over to the objects sitting on his coffee table. Though he had some difficulty making them out without his glasses, he paid special heed to the vase of pink camellias. There was nothing particularly spectacular about them or the vase, but the newly cut flowers glistened in the sunlight that engulfed them. Kyoya inexplicably kept his gaze on them as he kept processing the recent events in his head._

 _Then, as if something within him suddenly snapped, his eyes shot wide open as he lurched off of his couch, snatched the vase, and hurled it against the adjacent wall._

 **"Fucking God!"** _he screamed in anguish as the glass collided with the wall, smashing into innumerable pieces, a larger one recoiling into his direction and cutting a deep gash in his arm._

 _As he looked frantically down at his wound and brushed his hand against the blood, he gasped as he examined the damage. As the franticness in his eyes died down, he collapsed back onto his couch and buried his face into his hands in agony as his tears spilled out._

* * *

 _As much as Kyoya tended to scoff at anything sappy, he admittedly missed his friends during his first semester of college in the U.S. and was happy to reunite with the former host club members after what felt like an eternity. However, as he exited his flight, he thought to himself how much he wished this reunion could have occurred under drastically different circumstances._

 _He also wished that he could have been on better terms with his idiotic blonde best friend, who was unsurprisingly absent from his anticipated homecoming and, for all he knew, might not have even considered him his friend anymore._

 _From what Haruhi told him, even though no one was particularly thrilled with the news of their new circumstances, Tamaki understandably took it the hardest, not having completely recovered from his breakup with her yet, even though they mutually agreed that they were better off as friends. Haruhi recounted the evident sense of betrayal she could see in Tamaki's eyes when she told him the identity of her child's father. Kyoya had no doubt that Tamaki wouldn't take it well, but the deed was done and all of their friends deserved to know the truth, even if they kept it on the down low from as many others as they could._

'Focus, Kyoya, that moron isn't remotely a priority to you right now,' _he thought to himself as he greeted each of his other friends as they individually approached him._

 _Honey and Mori were still their typical selves as they each greeted him. Honey practically leaped onto him to give him a huge hug, beaming up at his friend with his innocent brown eyes, bemoaning how much they all missed him, which Kyoya figured was probably a bit of an overstatement in light of recent events, but he knew Honey was at least being sincere from his own point of view. Mori gave him a small, but genuine smile as he told him that he was happy to have him back._

 _Conversely, though they each initiated hugs with him and welcomed him back in a civil manner, the twins didn't hesitate to narrow their eyes at him suspiciously. The tension between them was not lost on Kyoya. However, it soon dissipated when they bluntly told him they weren't happy to see him this way and called him out on how much he hurt their beloved Tono and the effect all of this has had on Haruhi, but that he was still their friend and, despite his and Haruhi's mistake, they only wanted to ensure that they would be all right. Kyoya thanked them and nodded respectfully, maintaining his cool exterior while feeling internally grateful that they were willingly supportive and not ready to beat him to a pulp for impregnating their favorite "toy."_

 _However, as he looked past them, his mask slipped as he found himself awestruck upon seeing the girl responsible for bringing him back to Japan in the first place for the first time in four months._

 _Her warm, brown eyes, despite the evident surprise displayed in them, were as inviting as ever as he gazed at her. He felt a lump form in his throat as he took in her shaking form, finding himself out of breath. Though she looked mainly unchanged, her hair had grown out slightly and she looked comparatively more feminine. He was astounded when she told him that she wanted to continue attending Ouran until she graduated, which left her with no choice but to reveal her gender to the school, though her classmates took it surprisingly well, particularly since the host club was all but defunct without him and Tamaki around._

 _However, despite the general acceptance she received from her classmates, once word got around about her pregnancy, it was impossible to escape the judgment a select few cast down upon her, even though the twins didn't hesitate to threaten anyone who gave her a hard time. Luckily for Kyoya, she figured there was no reason for anyone outside of the former hosts to know of his "involvement," allowing his reputation to get off scot-free for the time being, for which he was grateful._

 _As he kept his gaze on her, his guilt exponentially increased as these thoughts began to consume him, which only worsened as his eyes travelled down to her midsection. He tried to mask his surprise as he fixed his eyes on her protruding stomach, which her small frame only made more pronounced, despite the loose winter outerwear she wore._

'I have no way to deny it anymore. This is actually happening…' _he thought anxiously, the evidence of their mistake staring him in the face._ 'She's actually having a baby… _my_ baby _…_ '

 _"Kyoya-senpai…" she said quietly, her mouth hanging slightly open as her brown orbs began tearing up._

 _Snapping out of his thoughts, Kyoya found himself engulfed in her embrace before he could even see her move. He looked down at the girl in surprise once he realized how tightly she had her arms wrapped around him, her face buried in his chest where he could feel her oncoming tears soaking his shirt. However, he barely paid heed to it as he slowly returned the gesture, feeling her belly press into him, which made him stiffen._

'It must be hormones, or things have been more difficult for her than she's let on,' _he thought to himself. Haruhi wasn't the type to show her emotions so openly, but this wasn't exactly a typical situation for either of them for that matter._

 _"Senpai, I can't believe you're here. I've missed you so much. So much has happened over the last few months," she said quietly as she tried to suppress her tears._

 _"I can only imagine, Haruhi. I've missed you as well and I'm glad I can be here to help you through the latter half of your pregnancy," he responded, gently massaging her back as she slowly loosened her grip on him, but she didn't have the strength to look him back in the eye._

 _"I…I just feel awful that you had to come back just because of me, but it's all been so stressful to deal with. Everyone's been incredibly supportive, but it all feels so overwhelming. I mean, I'm already in my twentieth week and I still don't know what to do about the baby. I'm so torn between keeping it and giving it up. I feel so conflicted, senpai…"_

 _Kyoya exhaled heavily as he released her. He slightly pushed her back as he moved his hands to her shoulders, peering down at her sternly, trying to force eye contact between them. Noticing his sudden gesture, she found the strength to look him in the eye once again. She lightly gasped at the seriousness exhibited in his onyx orbs that not even his glasses could mask._

 _"That's what I'm here for, Haruhi. I'm here now and we'll figure this out together," he said softly. Haruhi trembled at the feeling of his touch. "I know you hate asking anyone for help and that you're accustomed to handling things on your own, but this is my responsibility as well. Coming back to help you through this contains more merit for me then leaving you to fend for yourself. I would never be able to live with myself if I did that to you."_

 _The other hosts stared at Kyoya in amazement, especially the twins, who gaped at him in utter shock. They couldn't believe that the greedy, selfish Shadow King they attended high school with would ever openly express such a sensitive side of himself._

 _"Is this really Kyoya-senpai and not some sort of convincing doppelganger who actually has a heart? This is unbelievable," Hikaru asked incredulously, tilting his head in confusion._

 _"Hikaru, don't ruin the moment for them! We might never get the chance to see this side of him ever again. Besides, even Kyoya-senpai isn't ruthless and self-serving enough to abandon Haruhi and their baby," Kaoru whispered to him, groaning at his brother's immaturity and absurd theory. "But still, in all seriousness..."_

 _They all watched as Haruhi gazed up at him in awe. She bit down on her lip, trying to hold back her tears again, but soon found herself collapsing back into chest. In response, Kyoya sighed heavily as he embraced her once again, but the others could see the genuine affection in his expression as he comforted her._

 _"They both have a hard road ahead of them in the upcoming months and it's hard to say whether or not even Kyoya-senpai can handle something like this."_

 _The other three nodded in agreement, quietly walking away to pick up Kyoya's luggage for him as an excuse to give the future parents some privacy._


End file.
